But I Don’t Do Anime…

In a few weeks I will be attending something I attend every single year. This will be my 6th year. I never miss it. Realms Con. This is like Comic Con for all the Anime lovers out there! There is something about about an anime convention that is so satisfying. Even if you don’t do anime, this is something incredibly fun to go to!

You get to see people cosplay (dressing up) in their favorite characters, anime or not. You see some Crazy  things but the fact that people aren’t afraid or embarrassed to be themselves is so worth it. You see people in all shapes, sizes, colors, genders cosplay as the same thing and it is beautiful. Seeing a plus size girl who isn’t afraid to wear a sailor moon outfit is amazing and there is bound to be another one!

Maybe the reason I like these conventions so much is because people aren’t going to judge you. Because more than likely they feel just as stupid in their costume, they have no reason to be judging anyone else. These conventions, Realms Con, Comic Con, San Japan, You name it, are just full of support and people who love to take pictures with you (especially if your outfit is unique or something that nobody thought of cosplaying as). One thing I have learned is that, it is better to dress up and look stupid then to not dress up at all. If you don’t cosplay or dress up as something, You will be the one standing out.

This year (same as a few years ago) I am dressing up steampunk. You can never go wrong with steampunk. For those of you who don’t know what that is, I will post some pictures down below to give you an idea. But it is a futuristic Victorian style. Steampunk can be in anything. Music, movies, fashion, makeup. There is something about the style that is just amazing to me.

steampunk

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Because this “era” takes place during the industialized Western civilization of 19th century. Everything is mostly powered by steam. Hence the name “Steampunk”.

I am pretty much ready for the convention. I am just working on the upper half of my outfit and it should be complete. I have the boots, the spats, the skirt, the jewelry and I am debating whether or not I should get a new top hat (Nerd problems). and Of course I have my weapons!

This whole music video is Steampunk By the way! and if anyone cares to make me that net launcher at 2:57 It would be much appreciated.

 

I came across this video and in like 4 minutes this video pretty much sums up this whole post.

 

There wasn’t really much to this post. Just a little lesson on anime conventions and steampunk. However if you do decide to ever dress in a steampunk fashion….

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Don’t forget your welders goggles.

 

 

 

The Diary of a Plus Size Roller Derby Girl!

It is about time I talk some derby! This is my 12th post on this blog. The number 12 happens to be my favorite number, my lucky number, the day I was born, my derby number and the size pants I would like to fit into one day (haha).

Now if you haven’t caught on by my previous posts (or the title) I am a plus size girl. I am not embarrassed to say that. Why be embarrassed of something you can’t hide? Honestly I have been overweight my whole life. It’s not something new to me. However I realized that if I really don’t lose weight, how do I expect to go into the career field I am entering? So this weight loss journey… It is kind of a now or never type deal. What is awful about me saying this is that I have been saying things like this for the past 8 or so years. That is how long I have been attempting to lose weight. I feel like it is just going to be me saying it again and failing. I hate failing. Especially when it involves my weight. Now THAT embarrasses me. I was always bad at sports because of my weight but roller derby was different.

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Look it’s me :D

When I went to my first practice, I was a bit intimidated because these girls that were skating were FAST. I wanted to quit the first day because I could barely stand on my skates. After I got the hang of it, I fell in love! This sport was not like any other. My weight can be seen as a good thing. I can easily block other players and knock them out of bounds. It was nice to be good at a sport for once. I wasn’t the fastest skater but yet the fastest skater wasn’t the strongest. That is what made the team. Everyone had their own strengths and we helped each other on our weaknesses. It didn’t matter that I was over weight.

Now even though there are plenty (and hopefully someone out there can vouch for me) of plus size derby girls, do you know how hard it is to find plus size derby clothing? I can’t find a pair of hot pants to fit my assests. For those of you that don’t know what hot pants are…

hot pants

These attractive babies….

If anyone out there knows of a decently priced online derby store with plus sizes, help a fellow derby sister out! Or if you know the pattern to these, I know how to sew! (I have been trying to find a tutorial but I can’t find a decent one).

I have been out of derby for about a year now. It is killing me on the inside. Everybody knows that derby is basically muscle memory. So it is going to be awhile of me skating before I get my skills back. I get shin splints very easily when I am doing any form of skating and I am sure it has to do with my weight. They are so painful. I went ice skating a few months ago and I had to stop often because of them. It was really embarrassing because I am a good skater but it’s time to get back into shape. And I don’t just mean healthy, lose weight, shape. I am talking about DERBY SHAPE. It doesn’t really matter what size you are to beast at derby. Anyone who has been to a bout can tell you that. I want to gain muscle in the process. Is that a ridiculous statement? It is not like I am going to turn into Starla from Napoleon Dynamite…

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Not at all…. I want to be more like…. Booty Quake…

booty quake

I am not saying I want to be her weight or anything (I will go back to her in a bit)! That is not at all what I am saying. I have a goal weight and I set this goal weight with my doctor. *Cough cough 160-170* Which still seems like a lot. Especially to other girls. I went to a nutritionist recently and after they calculated my muscle, bone structure, blah blah blah all that jazz they told me that I was supposed to weigh about 165. This gives me so much more relief because this whole time I thought I was supposed to weigh in the 120 area. No way that was ever going to happen. EVER. I still have a bit of a challenge that is ahead of me.

Now back to Booty Quake. She is one of my favorite derby girls. She has a youtube channel titled “Roller Derby Athletics” and she post workout videos to help roller derby girls! How awesome is that? On and off the track! I recommend her videos to anyone who is 1.Trying to get better at roller derby outside of practice 2. Trying to lose weight 3. Needs a new workout routine 4. Just Because

Next on my list is clean eating. Why does food have to be so delicious. I don’t really have much of a sweet tooth (O but put my favorite ice cream in front of me and I do) I am more of the carboholic. I am addicted to chips. Chips. Please don’t put me and chips together. Ever. Clean eating can be hard when the fattening and fast food is cheap and the healthier food that you have to prepare can get kind of pricey.

If anyone out there, roller derby or not has any workout or healthy eating advice (on a budget) I am a college student so money isn’t the most plentiful thing!

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Thank you everyone! :) And remember that anybody can be a roller derby girl. Size 0 or size 30!  I am proof! If I can do it you can do it too! Don’t get discouraged your first couple of months… improvement takes time! So what are you going to do now?

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Hey those last two pictures are both Kristen Wigg!!!! (I did not plan that)

The reason I can’t sleep at night…

If you took the time to know me, you would know that I don’t do well under stress. Too much stress  and I will break which equals to me crying. I think crying is just some sort of coping tool I use. I cry when I am happy, sad, nervous, too angry, stressed… just over all Emotional. I talked about this in my first post so I am not going to get into too much detail.

I have been talking about it here and there but it really just hit me. I am gonna have a sibling. Like what? I always tell my friends they are like my sister’s or brother’s and it’s true because I genuinely care for them like they are family. But the fact that I am gonna have this living, small, bundle of pink joy… what? After 19 years? There is a 16 year age difference between me and my mom and there is going to be a 19 year age difference between me and my sister? I can’t fathom. I can be her mom. Things keep going through my head. “What if she doesn’t like me?” “I am more of comic book/hardrock/roller derby type girl, what if she grows up to be the biggest girly girl who wants to be a ballerina and she ends up hating me?” (yes people… this is literally what comes to my mind at 3am)

I had multiple people tell me that she will probably think of me more like an aunt. I can’t let that happen. I will do anything to prevent that from happening. I never had siblings. I don’t want to wreck the one chance of actually having a relationship with one. I just hate the fact that I will be 37 when she goes off to college…. aye.

On a side note, we found a house. Well my grandpa found a house. He bought it and will rent it out to my parents. However it needs some repairs. We should be moved in by November. At least we aren’t leaving Corpus… Yet. For a long while, my stepdad was wanting to look for a job in San Antonio. If things don’t get financially better for us, We may have to move. It won’t be for a while though (hopefully).

I am going to try and apply for a few jobs when I get back to school. My education is costing about $2,000 more this Fall semester compared to last semester. I am taking an extra class and another is online (which is a bit more). I had some money saved from financial aid but I used it to pay for summer classes. For some reason it doesn’t apply until the Spring semester. So I am stuck here riding the struggle bus in the Fall. Until Spring comes then I be like…

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I have been praying something comes through. My mom tells me not to worry about it. How can I possibly not worry about it? She works her butt off as it is! Now she has to support another human being?

Just some things that I think about at night….

Maybe I Do Need To Get Out Of Here…

Sometimes I feel like my mere presence causes nothing but problems. Do I just offend and annoy people? Is there something wrong with me? I hate thinking this way because these are the moments where I am furthest from God.

Today I went to the goodwill. I was looking for some clothing so I can upcycle and refashion! This is a new hobby of mine. Turning something old or ugly and making it new! It is really fun because the clothing you make is unique and one of a kind!  In a recent post I had mentioned that I have been getting into the 50s style lately. Just my luck, I found a gorgeous 50s style navy blue dress that Is beautiful itself but I could have done something with it. I tried it on and the more I wore it and looked at myself in the mirror, I realized that it was perfect the way it was. I decided to buy it anyways.

When my grandma came home (By the way for those of you who don’t know, I live in a house with my pregnant mom, step dad, grandma, grandpa and great grandma) she went into my great grandma’s room to watch her novellas (haha). I had showed the dress to momo (my great grandma) earlier, so I wanted to show my grandma. I put up my hair into a bandanna and put on my favorite lipstick and I showed her! They loved it and complemented me. Then my mom walked in. My mom has a way of being brutally honest. She tells me “I don’t like that color lipstick on you”. The lipstick she bought me…. She was there when I tried it on… and now she doesn’t like it…. This is Kat Von D lipstick… $19 dollars…. each….

And that is when Hell froze over

Momo and Mom Conversation

“She is 18 years old!!! She can do what she wants!!!!”

“She’s my kid, I tell her what I want!!!!”

“She’s not your slave!”

“This is what your doing, this is what I need you to do! (yes she quoted master of disguise)”

“BLAHH BLAHHHH BLAHHH BLAHHH!!!!!!!”

“BLAHHHH BLAHHHH BLAHHHH BLAHHHH!!!!!!”

Meanwhile my grandma and I don’t know what to do so we are just like….

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After a little bit of arguing, me and my mom left the room and went into our separate bedrooms. I then heard my grandma and momo arguing. My grandma slammed her door and I knew she was mad because the novella hadn’t finished yet. She then went into my mom’s room and told her to stay out of momo’s room because every time she goes in there, she starts nothing but problems. My mom is furious and starts yelling back at her and utters something I wish she wouldn’t have said.

“Just cancel my baby shower!!!”

The baby shower that is this Saturday that grandma and I have been working so hard on? The baby shower that I have been making decorations for? I can’t get the darn pink spray paint off of my hands for YOU and YOU want to just cancel it? Excuse me but you are just acting like a child, mother. You have complained for as long as I have lived that when you were pregnant with me, Grandma never through you a baby shower because she was too embarrassed. Now she is throwing you a HUGE one and you are canceling it because you are mad.

Fights like these happen often in my home. Part of me feels like I need to leave. The other half wants me to stay. I had so much guilt when I left my family for college. Nobody in my family has ever left out of town for college before. So when I tell people that I have to call my family more than 2x a day, they get freaked out. We are so close, so it is weird that I am gone. I have never been away from my mom for more than 4 days. My grandma is so close to me that she is depressed that I am out of the house. Whenever she is going through problems or she just needs to talk, I stay up with her and listen to her. We stay up sometimes till 2am just talking. I can tell her everything. My mom and stepdad are looking for a house. It isn’t going so well. I hate to move. I hate leaving this house. But the reason is because I hate leaving my grandma.

After I graduate I would like to continue on my education and get my Masters in criminology. There is even an internship I can apply to for the FBI. How cool is that? If I got accepted I would have a set job with them. The problem… it’s in Dallas. How could I leave South Texas and Move to North Texas? It is so far away! I can’t leave my family just like that. I can’t. Especially not with a baby sister on the way. I will have a close relationship with her. I don’t care what people say. I will make it happen. It’s just right now. I am tied. I don’t know what to do. I would miss my family too much to leave South Texas permanently. I know it is a lot of thinking ahead but even if I don’t go with the FBI, with the Criminal Justice field, the best place is a large city. Dallas or even Houston would be perfect for me. Maybe I can stay in San Antonio…That isn’t too far away.

Right now I am at a lonely stage in my life. I cut out a lot of said “friends” from my life. I lost my best friend. My family is just tearing apart slowly. I don’t exactly know who to trust anymore. The one person who actually wants to talk to me, I don’t like. The one person I want to hang out with lives a few hundred miles away (I know you’re reading this).

My life is just screwed up right now. I feel like the closer I try to get to God, the more the devil is trying to wreck me.

All because of Red Lipstick that wasn’t my shade.

Random Midnight Rant!

I needed to let out all the drama going on in my life at the moment. Two different situations. One is destroying my family as we speak and the other situation, I just wish it would go away. I apologize if it drags on or if the grammar isn’t correct. And I am leaving out names so hopefully it doesn’t get too confusing.

Situation 1

My crazy aunt (through marriage) had started drama with my grandma all because of a stupid facebook picture my grandma shared!

teengers

It seems innocent, right? Well my aunt blew it on my grandma saying it was child abuse blah blah blah and for her to take it down because it puts her husband’s (my uncle, my grandma’s son) job on the line because he works in education. Seriously? It is an innocent post. Who is seriously going to take it the wrong way? Well she continues to bash my grandma through facebook. Crazy lady posted a status obviously about my grandmother saying she likes to  strangle kids. Of course everybody sides with the crazy lady. Mean while it hurting me to see my grandmother crying over the obvious pain this lady is causing (all the while my uncle is not doing anything about it). I don’t want to intervene. It is not my fight even though I hate to see my grandmother in pain. Should I step in and say something? Or should I leave it alone? It is starting to become my problem. My aunt later posts a status stating that my grandma is the reason my mom was a teenage mom and the reason my other uncle was a drug addict and a dead beat dad (by the grace of God he has accepted God into his life and made complete change but that is a different story) so that is why they are “horrible people”. Ummm excuse me lady but the same woman who raised that teen mom and drug addict also raised your husband so you have no room to talk since you married one of her kids.

I called her out on it. Once she brought my mom into the picture, I was done. My mom is not the perfect mom but I can tell you that she has done more for me than some people that have both a mom and a dad. I had sweet 16 that I didn’t even ask for. She did that while being a single mom.

She told me she wasn’t talking about my family. Which was a flat out lie but whatever. I told her (politely) to stop harassing my grandma and to stop texting her because she was stressing her out. She responded by deleting and blocking my ENTIRE family off of facebook. O well. Good riddance.

Later my grandfather had bought tickets for the whole family to see Joel Osteen in San Antonio. The crazy lady had originally told him that her and my uncle were going. Well she calls my grandfather a few days before the event (after he buys tickets) and proceeds to tell him that they weren’t going because he is an abomination because he isn’t Catholic and they weren’t going to listen to anyone not Catholic! That made my grandfather rage and my grandfather doesn’t get made easy. Now they are keeping my 3 year old cousin away from my family as a “Consequence of our actions”. Which is killing my great grandma. She won’t get out of bed. She keeps crying every night. It is depressing me. She keeps saying she is going to die soon. Aye. She wants me to bring a boy home (it will apparently make her happy). She thinks it’s my time to get married… ummm not yet momo… not for like 5…10…20…maybe 30 more years! It breaks my heart to leave back to school because I am worried she will be more depressed. However I am hoping she would be able to take care of my baby sister once she is born! I think that would make her happy.

Anyways back to crazy lady. Since my great grandma is no longer watching my cousin, they had to put my cousin into a day in which they are paying about $500 a month! Well when my great grandma was watching him they couldn’t pay her because they “Couldn’t afford it”. A few months before all this drama happened, my grandfather had told my uncle they he would pay my uncle to rent a tux for his friends wedding. Well about a month before the wedding my uncle calls my grandpa up asking if he can still pay for it and my grandfather yells at him. “If you can afford $500 a month for child care, then you can afford your own tux” and He just hangs up the phone. Later the crazy lady calls and says “We will forget everything ever happened and go back to normal if you pay for the tux”. She basically asking for ransom! Ummm no! My family is not going to put up with that bull. After that she goes on my uncles phone and proceeds to “accidentally” block all our phone numbers. Hmmm. My uncle finds out and unblocks us

My grandma later gives in and apologizes (she didn’t even do anything wrong). And crazy lady says “No you have to quit being a coward and hiding behind the phone and say it to my face” (by the way I would NEVER say something like this to my mother in law! So disrespectful and distasteful) and my grandma pleaded with her saying “fine I will” and crazy continues to say “No! you have to bring THE WHOLE family over as well” haha. Yep we are never seeing them ever again. My mother and great grandma would rather die than to apologize for something they weren’t even involved in. aye… and that is just half the story!!!

Situation 2

Well I am not going to get into full detail but I had this friend (lets call her Blue). We use to be best friends and a situation happened where we just became very distant because I know she was going to continue her ways and I didn’t want to follow them. I needed to change and Blue didn’t want to. I was hoping that we could at least stay friends but I guess she didn’t want to because she deleted me off of Facebook. It doesn’t really bug me but I had gotten a skype call from another friend (lets call her Red). Red proceeded to tell me that on her birthday Blue had called her at 3 am singing to her. Red was half asleep so she says “Is this Alissa?”. Apparently that made Blue very very made because she starts saying F– Alissa and all sorts of vulgar things, according to Red. She tells her EVERYTHING that happened between us. Apparently Blue starts cussing my mother out because “She owes her a bottle of Vodka” (My mother had found Vodka in a box and dumped it down the drain).

It doesn’t really bug me that she is not my friend anymore. I cut out a negative person from my life (granted she did a lot for me that I will never be able to repay her for) I tried to keep her in my life but obviously she didn’t want me in it. I am not trying to speak bad of her. I am not trying to get to her level. I wish her the best of luck in everything she does.

On a different note, want to hear an amazing song? I keep listening to this song on repeat! It reminds me of someone I miss!!!! I listen to this song until I fall asleep!

 

 

Is There Discrimination In the Church?

Hello! My name is Alissa and I Lust, I am a gossiper, a liar, I can be prideful, and I have moments of sloth and greed. I am a sinner.

Who are we to Judge other people sins? Tell me. We all have sins and although I can’t justify killing some and relating it to having anger in your heart, God can. In Matthew 5:21-28, Jesus equates committing adultery with having lust in your heart and committing murder with having hatred in your heart. All sin, no matter how “small,” is against an infinite and eternal God, and is therefore worthy of an infinite and eternal penalty. There is no sin too “big” that God cannot forgive it.

Today I went out with a very special friend of mine. She is the sweetest person I have ever met and has an amazing talent when it comes to singing. However she had told me some very disturbing news that left me completely heart broken. There was drama going on in the student ministry of my church. Involving her and her family. It has gotten to the point where they are leaving the church because of it.

Now before I continue I want to share my views so you can see where I stand. I am a Christian and I am a Liberal. I am a Christian Liberal (according to some other “Christians” I am going to Hell for being a Liberal, Isn’t that nice to know?) I support Human Equality. Which means I support… Gay Marriage… “*Gasp* A Christian shouldn’t support Gay Marriage! It’s an abomination!” No. Frankly I don’t care what other “Christians” think of my views. I have them and nobody is going to change my personal opinions. I don’t believe it’s a sin. Sorry if this upsets anybody #Sorrynotsorry

“But it says in the Bible—“

It also says I shouldn’t go to Church while I am on my menstrual cycle. It says we shouldn’t cut our hair or shave. It says we shouldn’t eat Pork. It says we shouldn’t Divorce. If you can give me a justifiable reason why we are so strict on Homosexuality and not the others, then I will at least listen to you. Will I agree with you? Probably not. I have witnessed too many friends/family members and too many problems to change my mind. If this was really a choice that people make, Why are so many Gays killing themselves over it when they can just “change” with the snap of their fingers? However I do also believe in “Truly Gays and Newly Gays” In other words. Some people do choose that lifestyle, due to being sexually abused or just trying to fit in. Am I going to judge them? Of course not and neither should You.

Many people have tried to change my views. Saying things like “Well where it talks about homosexuality and shaving are totally different rules being applied” *Cough Cough* What? It is the same book of Leviticus!

 If a man lies with a male as he lies with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination. They shall surely be put to death. Their blood shall be upon them. (NKJ, Leviticus 20:13)

You shall not round off the hair on your temples or mar the edges of your beard. (ESV, Leviticus 19:27)

This was my favorite explanation when trying to convince me “Well they all have demons inside possessing them” What? Are you serious? Oh! You are. Well I suppose I have a demon inside of me every time I cut my hair or eat bacon.

Now don’t get me wrong. I respect everybody’s opinion on this subject. And for me to go and say “I think your wrong because of blah blah blah” will make me no better or bigger than the person telling me I am wrong. My opinion might be wrong or it might be right. Whatever the case might be, I will stick to my opinion and I hope and I pray that people will respect it. I will respect your opinion If you respect mine. I will not try to convince you that you’re wrong as long as you don’t try to convince me that I am.

Now back to my friend. Her and her sisters played for the student worship band. They kicked the older sister out for being a lesbian and they threatened my friend to kick her out as well if she didn’t change what she wore because she looked “Gay”. Apparently Plaid shirts and hats are guys apparel. I don’t blame the girls. They were molested by their father and after that, the older sister turned lesbian and my friend is Bi-sexual. How could you trust men after your own father, someone you loved and trusted, did that to you? I couldn’t.

I don’t believe that was right.  We are called to be like Jesus. Do you really think that Jesus would say “O you are gay, You can’t worship me”. No. Jesus would never say that. So why kick these girls out? They are discriminating against them.

“You still can’t be a ‘Good Christian’ and believe in Human equality, that is not what God wants.” Well maybe I don’t want to follow your God.

The God I follow is a righteous and Just God. He is loving and Forgiving of ALL SINS! He will accept ANYONE who has HIM in their hearts!

That is the God I follow and will always follow.

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I want your opinions (You can leave comments but lets try to be civil here).

 

 

 

 

 

High School Never Ends…

I love Bowling For Soup. They have a song for every situation you can think of. Funny or serious. They are one of my favorite bands! They can relate so much! You might know them by the Phineas and Ferb theme song!!! Yes… That was them! There is a hundred and four days of summer vacation… (I know you want to finish the song)

I actually got a chance to meet them!

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As much as I love Bowling For Soup, this post isn’t exactly about them. It is about what happened to me today. I am going into my 2nd year of college and I am proud to say I survived the first year! This week has taken a bit of a toll on me but I am passing my classes so that is all that matters to me. I will take the stress and I will take my white hairs…

Like_A_Boss_by_mateolapiz

But what happened to me hasn’t happened in like what? Almost 2 years?

My friend and I carpool to school everyday. I finished much earlier than she did, so I decided to go to the student center to study for another final. While over there I realized that there was some sort of high school state choir trip. I am not exactly sure what it was. I was at a table alone and you can tell that even though these were all choir kids, they still had their own groups. This one boy asked if he could sit at my table. I had no problem with it, he wasn’t going to bug me. Or so I thought.

This boy didn’t have enough money to pay for a drink and I felt bad for him so I gave him enough coins for him to pay for a soda. After that he asks if I could watch his stuff. This boy didn’t come back for 30 minutes. Granted I would’ve been there anyways  but what if it was anyone else? If I had to leave, Should I have just left his stuff? What would I have done?

When the boy comes back he starts asking me questions about my major. I thought it was really weird figuring this kid doesn’t even know my name but I don’t want to be rude. This is exactly how the conversation played out… I kid you not….

Me: O I am majoring in Criminal Justice.

Him: What exactly do you want to do with that?

Me: I would like to become a detective but I am also looking into the criminology field.

Him: So what do you think your first job will be?

Me: Well that just depends on which way I choose to go. If I lean more with the detective field, I am going to have to become a police officer first.

Him: *Snicker* You realize physical training is involved right?

(I knew exactly what he was referring to and I knew where this conversation was heading)

Me: Yes I do know that.

Him: So what exactly have you been doing to train for your physical fitness? Or do you even train at all?

Me: Yes I have been doing—-

Him: Remote Control Exercises don’t count!

 

I stayed at that table for a good 5 minutes at the table (I didn’t want to show him that I was weak or upset). One of my other friends who likes to bike to the campus to come and see me had messaged me saying he was outside. I got up and left and as soon as I saw him, I broke down crying.

Maybe he wasn’t purposely trying to be mean. Maybe he was. But it hurt. A lot. I realize I am over weight. You don’t have to point it out or be mean about it. Since being home for the Summer, I have lost 15 pounds. I have been drinking nothing but water (okay I cheated this week with coffee) I have cut out fried food, I have cut down my portions, I workout everyday. And I am making progress and that comment he made, made me feel like all the progress doesn’t even matter.

I am not as strong as I show to be. Physically yeah. I can tough out a lot of things… I can take some derby and paintball wounds (let me tell you). but Emotionally? Not at all. You mention my weight and I break down. I am not perfect y’all! I am a plus size girl who can get very insecure at times.

The lesson here? This Will push me harder! This will motivate me to try harder. And to be the very best that I can be!

Ugh High school never ends does it?